1 Hour of Jokes Your Husband Would Get Angry at

I have three children that I'm in love with and um I am now an empty neester. They I have two in college and one married and I um you think I'd look forward to being empty neester. Some people go woo. I don't feel woo. I miss them. My husband misses them. Um I found Netflix when I when the last one left, my baby child,

she's now 20. When she left, I took to the bed and I ate chocolatecovered blueberries that you get at Target and and I found Netflix and I um binged watched Scandal.

Have y'all seen Scandal? That first season, the the chemistry between the two main characters. I think something's really going on. Anyway, it set me on fire and so I laid up in the bed and watched that and like ordered Jimmy John's from my bed and my husband said, "Are you all right?" But I ended up

getting sciatica from laying in the bed. I didn't get bed sores. I got sciatica and then ended up having to get physical therapy that cost $1,000 because of my deductible. But anyway, but I grieve so much over my kids being gone. All right. So, when my husband gets home, he's as sad as I am. When he

gets home, we just stare out into space. And he's he's very quiet. He's an introvert. He doesn't talk. He doesn't chat. So, I just sit and talked to myself.

And we tingle hounds and we just sit and kiss them in the mouth. And they are yummy. And we go to bed. And I a lot of y'all look really young in here. And I'm going to scare y'all to death. But I'm going to tell y'all I'm going to tell Look at these young girls right here. I'm going to tell y'all what your future

[laughter] is going to be. Okay. All right. When you get to be about your mid4s, you're going to go through start a thing called perry menopause. It's before you go through menopause and it makes you crazy and you sweat in the bed at night. Okay?

And you all your hormones get messed up. All right? I go to the bedroom and I am so hot at night that I put the air on 68 because I don't want to die.

My husband puts it back up on 70 and he says, "You're freezing me to death." He's having to wear pajamas for the first time in our marriage. Okay.

He said, "I can see my breath." That's a lie. But I know he is cold cuz one time he had to wear a toboggan. But anyway, we get in the bed and that big beagle who is 10 years old, a boy named Auggie who is so sweet. My husband spoons him in the bed.

And then we've got a new little beagle that is a pocket bagel and her name is Gigi and she is so yummy. And she she had a nervous tick when we got her and she ate our couch. But other than that, I love her. And she gets in the bed and she backs her little butthole up against my head at night right here.

And when we get All right. So, when my husband spoons that big one, that big one will wall his eyes at me and and looks like I don't want him.